Friday, September 30, 2005
wa wa waaaaa
thank you tshirt hell, thank you.
(from t shirt hell)
Early man had little choice when he wanted entertainment. He would basically sit in the entrance of his cave, jerk off, and watch his neighbors.
If he waited long enough, hopefully he would catch a glimpse of them fucking their mate, beating their children, or getting eaten by a dinosaur. If he was lucky, he would get to see all three. If he was really lucky: all three at once. You would think our entertainment choices would have evolved right along with us. I say if anything they have gotten worse.
People today enjoy the circus. The Romans invented them. But not pussy circuses like we have. They were designed as an alternative to watching your neighbors. Action was guaranteed. Every show they had lions eating people. Every show was followed by an orgy. In modern times, you're lucky if a lion eats even a couple people when you go to the circus. Sure, the modern circus is always good for an elephant trampling, but that's really more of a tease than a main event. And maybe you'll find a horny midget or a licentious acrobat to eat your ass at intermission if you're lucky, and you keep your ass spotless.
In spite of this, most modern circuses still manage to deliver a modicum of entertainment. But now there are more and more circuses without any animals. Crazy, dirty French circuses made up entirely of pretentious acrobatic clowns. These clowns rarely eat members of the audience and they are insufferably rude if you even dare suggest they fondle your buttocks or twist a nipple. As if we needed another reason to hate the French, or clowns.
Around the 1700's man invented television. Of course these early televisions were made of wood and there were probably only 3 or 4 channels, with one of them being devoted entirely to churning butter. In the twentieth century we have cable television. There are over 5000 channels. They still have the channel devoted to churning butter, but now they also run it in Spanish. The Spanish version is way better because the butter churner has enormous tits. Sometimes Erik Estrada shows up to chase her around the butter churn wearing only a bonnet, a bow tie, and a pair of high heels.
We all know that modern network television is highly regulated and censored. We expect it to be creamy soft serve dog shit in a cardboard cup. Basic cable is also a wasteland. Basic cable is divided between crappy low budget decorating shows, tedious wildlife shows, and that show where they build motorcycles. The motorcycle show, which used to be one of my favorites, is now just one big product placement opportunity for whatever corrupt corporation dumps a mountain of cash on these, 'rebel' bike builders/cheap corporate whores.
Premium cable television is no better. They've hired all of the writers away from basic cable and network television and then they never put out any new shows. There is one new episode of the Sopranos every 3 years. The new season is going to open with A.J. getting a colostomy bag and moving into a retirement home.
And what has basic cable and network television done now that they don't have any writers? They've switched to Reality Programs. What are Reality Programs? Cameras follow people around as they go about their day. Does this sound familiar? You're just sitting in the mouth of the cave watching your neighbors. We're back where we started, except this time there is no chance a dinosaur will show up and disembowel Bobby Brown. And that's a shame
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(from t shirt hell)
Early man had little choice when he wanted entertainment. He would basically sit in the entrance of his cave, jerk off, and watch his neighbors.
If he waited long enough, hopefully he would catch a glimpse of them fucking their mate, beating their children, or getting eaten by a dinosaur. If he was lucky, he would get to see all three. If he was really lucky: all three at once. You would think our entertainment choices would have evolved right along with us. I say if anything they have gotten worse.
People today enjoy the circus. The Romans invented them. But not pussy circuses like we have. They were designed as an alternative to watching your neighbors. Action was guaranteed. Every show they had lions eating people. Every show was followed by an orgy. In modern times, you're lucky if a lion eats even a couple people when you go to the circus. Sure, the modern circus is always good for an elephant trampling, but that's really more of a tease than a main event. And maybe you'll find a horny midget or a licentious acrobat to eat your ass at intermission if you're lucky, and you keep your ass spotless.
In spite of this, most modern circuses still manage to deliver a modicum of entertainment. But now there are more and more circuses without any animals. Crazy, dirty French circuses made up entirely of pretentious acrobatic clowns. These clowns rarely eat members of the audience and they are insufferably rude if you even dare suggest they fondle your buttocks or twist a nipple. As if we needed another reason to hate the French, or clowns.
Around the 1700's man invented television. Of course these early televisions were made of wood and there were probably only 3 or 4 channels, with one of them being devoted entirely to churning butter. In the twentieth century we have cable television. There are over 5000 channels. They still have the channel devoted to churning butter, but now they also run it in Spanish. The Spanish version is way better because the butter churner has enormous tits. Sometimes Erik Estrada shows up to chase her around the butter churn wearing only a bonnet, a bow tie, and a pair of high heels.
We all know that modern network television is highly regulated and censored. We expect it to be creamy soft serve dog shit in a cardboard cup. Basic cable is also a wasteland. Basic cable is divided between crappy low budget decorating shows, tedious wildlife shows, and that show where they build motorcycles. The motorcycle show, which used to be one of my favorites, is now just one big product placement opportunity for whatever corrupt corporation dumps a mountain of cash on these, 'rebel' bike builders/cheap corporate whores.
Premium cable television is no better. They've hired all of the writers away from basic cable and network television and then they never put out any new shows. There is one new episode of the Sopranos every 3 years. The new season is going to open with A.J. getting a colostomy bag and moving into a retirement home.
And what has basic cable and network television done now that they don't have any writers? They've switched to Reality Programs. What are Reality Programs? Cameras follow people around as they go about their day. Does this sound familiar? You're just sitting in the mouth of the cave watching your neighbors. We're back where we started, except this time there is no chance a dinosaur will show up and disembowel Bobby Brown. And that's a shame
Serenity
As usual went to the midnight showing on opening night.
It was awesome.
A very, very well written piece of cinematic media.
Joss, I salute you!
I may actually go see it again.
I say that the ending was too happy but that's just because I am a burned out, neurotic tech support analyst.
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It was awesome.
A very, very well written piece of cinematic media.
Joss, I salute you!
I may actually go see it again.
I say that the ending was too happy but that's just because I am a burned out, neurotic tech support analyst.
Monday, September 19, 2005
change is guten
even when reaching for the sky
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005
the red cross
is really pissing me off..
people who want to help should not have this hard a time being assigned to a group.
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people who want to help should not have this hard a time being assigned to a group.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
when the tough get going the bush get ..
Where the hell is our government?
I'm going to come right out and say, those shithead in the white house are taking their sweet ass time because they are getting a kick out of watching all those black people suffer.
I am currently trying to find a way down there to help but man its not as easy as I thought it would be. If anyone knows how to help me get there ,
I am going to call the salvation army.
below is an email make a difference sent me
-------------------------------------------
Hurricane Katrina, one of the worst hurricanes to hit the Gulf Coast this century, has devastated thousands in the coastal regions of Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi. The estimated damages exceeded earlier predictions and much assistance will be required in the disaster relief to follow. How to help? Monetary Donations - American Red Cross Salvation Army: For financial donations to the Hurricane Katrina Disaster Relief Fund go to the
American Red Cross web site or
Salvation Army web site Volunteer Deployment via HandsOn Network Make A Difference is an affiliate of Hands On Network, who is supporting The Red Cross by coordinating volunteer groups to serve in immediate response teams. If a group of 25-100 from your community, company or organization wants to serve in Montgomery, Alabama and meets all of the volunteer eligibility requirements (listed below), send an email response to:
takeaction@handsonnetwork.org Volunteer Eligibility *Seven-day Commitment, Minimum: Volunteers can only be accepted if they are able to serve at least a seven- day shift. *Groups Strongly Preferred: In order to maximize the efforts of the Red Cross, groups of volunteers, 25 people or greater, are strongly preferred over individuals. For this reason, we are requiring that individuals form teams with a designated Team Leader, and contact Hands On Network to be scheduled for service (registration information is below). *Travel: Volunteers must be able to arrange their own travel to and from Montgomery. *Housing: Volunteers will be provided shelter and food in the same temporary tent cities that are being erected now and where they will most likely be serving. Volunteers must be willing to sleep in make- shift structures and come prepared with their own sleeping bags. *Medical Needs: Individuals with medical issues that require regular or rapid attention are strongly discouraged from volunteering in response efforts at this time. Medical personnel are already over- extended serving the immediate emergency needs. * Insurance and Liability: The Red Cross doe not accept liability for volunteers serving in disaster response efforts. Any volunteer serving with The Red Cross must be covered under individual or company policies and will be required to sign appropriate waivers upon volunteer registration. *On-site Training: Upon arrival in Montgomery or Baton Rouge volunteers will receive training from The Red Cross in order to support specific recovery and emergency needs. We have also set-up a phone hotline where people can leave messages to be directed to action:
404.979.2933 Provide the following information:
1) Group Name and location
2) Team Leader (Name, Address, Email Address and Direct Phone Number)
3) Number of Volunteers in Your Group
4) Specific Dates Available for Deployment:
a. September 6-13
b. September 14-21
c. September 21-28
d. Available for support October and beyond Requests will be processed within 48 hours and you receive follow-up information directing you to the next steps for your volunteer action. Keep In Mind: Be Patient Please remember that this is one of the worst natural disasters that our country has ever experienced. The disaster response is requiring a massive coordination of efforts between states, federal and local authorities so please be patient and understanding. It is going to take a tremendous effort on all our parts to manage the thousands of individuals that want to put their passion and emotion into helpful action. Sincerely, Make A Difference Team
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I'm going to come right out and say, those shithead in the white house are taking their sweet ass time because they are getting a kick out of watching all those black people suffer.
I am currently trying to find a way down there to help but man its not as easy as I thought it would be. If anyone knows how to help me get there ,
please let me know as I have vacation time I can easily use!!
I am going to call the salvation army.
below is an email make a difference sent me
-------------------------------------------
Hurricane Katrina, one of the worst hurricanes to hit the Gulf Coast this century, has devastated thousands in the coastal regions of Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi. The estimated damages exceeded earlier predictions and much assistance will be required in the disaster relief to follow. How to help? Monetary Donations - American Red Cross Salvation Army: For financial donations to the Hurricane Katrina Disaster Relief Fund go to the
American Red Cross web site
Salvation Army web site
takeaction@handsonnetwork.org Volunteer Eligibility *Seven-day Commitment, Minimum: Volunteers can only be accepted if they are able to serve at least a seven- day shift. *Groups Strongly Preferred: In order to maximize the efforts of the Red Cross, groups of volunteers, 25 people or greater, are strongly preferred over individuals. For this reason, we are requiring that individuals form teams with a designated Team Leader, and contact Hands On Network to be scheduled for service (registration information is below). *Travel: Volunteers must be able to arrange their own travel to and from Montgomery. *Housing: Volunteers will be provided shelter and food in the same temporary tent cities that are being erected now and where they will most likely be serving. Volunteers must be willing to sleep in make- shift structures and come prepared with their own sleeping bags. *Medical Needs: Individuals with medical issues that require regular or rapid attention are strongly discouraged from volunteering in response efforts at this time. Medical personnel are already over- extended serving the immediate emergency needs. * Insurance and Liability: The Red Cross doe not accept liability for volunteers serving in disaster response efforts. Any volunteer serving with The Red Cross must be covered under individual or company policies and will be required to sign appropriate waivers upon volunteer registration. *On-site Training: Upon arrival in Montgomery or Baton Rouge volunteers will receive training from The Red Cross in order to support specific recovery and emergency needs. We have also set-up a phone hotline where people can leave messages to be directed to action:
404.979.2933 Provide the following information:
1) Group Name and location
2) Team Leader (Name, Address, Email Address and Direct Phone Number)
3) Number of Volunteers in Your Group
4) Specific Dates Available for Deployment:
a. September 6-13
b. September 14-21
c. September 21-28
d. Available for support October and beyond Requests will be processed within 48 hours and you receive follow-up information directing you to the next steps for your volunteer action. Keep In Mind: Be Patient Please remember that this is one of the worst natural disasters that our country has ever experienced. The disaster response is requiring a massive coordination of efforts between states, federal and local authorities so please be patient and understanding. It is going to take a tremendous effort on all our parts to manage the thousands of individuals that want to put their passion and emotion into helpful action. Sincerely, Make A Difference Team
