Prime Numbers: 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 23, 29

no I dont hate you
but please call me for gods sake woman!!

in other news

Any Panda that drinks tea is a friend of mine.

ps.

Tevor T , call me I lost your number.

hey listen up fellow Hippies as I am sure you have heard
Peter Benenson, the man who founded amnesty international died in hospital in Oxford on Friday, aged 83.
People like this further my manifest destiny that I should become a lawyer.
A filthy rotten pro bonum I want to have sex with republican females slash lawyer.

click here for more info...for the homie

god damn is there anything you cant do on the internet?
I love you

Dear Love
I think your overrated.
Why wont you pay my bills?
Why don't you get your lazy ass get out of the house and get a job.
You think I can sustain my corporal form on love alone?
Hell even Jesus couldn't sustain himself on love alone.
And he was the son of God!! As a devout Catholic it is my duty to follow in his footsteps or die trying.
Frankly I think your attempt to sully the reputation that Jesus himself pumped up to the rest of mankind about you is heritical and shows a level of crass that is becoming of your legend...dear ...love.

Feed me now!!!

amen

the following was not brought to you by "American Mexicans for Venting" and no that is Not a Mexican Venti, that is a drink from the Filthy Swine...jerkface!

so working all this overtime has stretched me thin ala calista flockheart.
the money is going to be nice.

heres how it feels like in my head right now
#@$#%^&*&(*_(!@#$$!@#$RBUY#$tr&y^%dr#$$@%raNYA#$$%$%INGR2324$#$sE~~111ME@##@!#~@#$#$#$#@$#@$#@$#@$EVOL!@#@$#~#misSSS!@#()(*%q@

MAKES PERFECT SENSE RIGHT?
all this ear lending for my female friends has left my cup dry like living in Arizona is supposed to be.

excuse my while I talk to some fucking jack ass who cant wipe thier own ass.
Their is nothing like working in techsupport for a boost in humanity.
Why does this post not make a god damn sense?
well because I am emulating the level of stupid fuck heads that ask me the most mundance questions and expect tech support to be like gods.

If god doesnt make you happy how do you expect me to make your life great.
I am a flawed flea jumping through the cosmos trying to find a big enough cow to suck the life force from for the rest of my days.

Where the fuck is my cookie?
Where the fuck is it?
WHERE!!

Fuck people being punk ass bitches and calling out at work.
fuck this place for hiring people who just want to be tender cows for the rest of their life.
Fuck me for not wanting to change my appearance so I can get a more "professional" and higher paying job.
Fuck my baby mama for not taking care of my daughters teeth.
Fuck her for blaming the most stupidist shit on my families house and fuck her for thinking that she is smart enough to be more than the mediocrity that is her persona.

Leaving her was the most salient decision I have ever made and I do mean salient because I am at war man!! this is war for my daughters love and mental well being!!

So yes this what happens when I am the Mountain, I erupt and spout obscenity laden magma to cover the internet in.
do you know what creature does this?
bears do, they are loners preferring to run in small knit groups and when angered they smash all those who stand in their way.

i need to eat something
god damnit that is only adding to my laser anger with melting hot lasers.
sO i go to the bar in scotssdale aka snobsdale
well I checked my bank account today
turns out that some dum fuck decided to add a tip to my bill?
I have a pending transaction for 50 dollars?
I left my tip in cash?
I know that someone is truck to rape me.
and really thats okay.
I take this a sign from god
he wants to me to do his dirty work and his dirty work I shall.
go ahead elixir, put that tip through so I can call and talk to the manger and give them an ass whooping that they deserve.
I am going to unleash the full fury of the mounatin upon thee.
there shall be a second coming.
and If that doesnt work I am going to hire a poopsmith to poop all over your front door.

and fuck me for missing my friendship with you
and fuck anyone who thinks I am crazy
I am just angry
there is a difference.

love

mulk

I just learned from checking my payroll page
that we had just two days to submit PTR's for this coming payroll period which just so happened to be right after we got payed when the payroll is supposedly still being processed.

I don't think anyone on my team made the cutoff point.

we are to say the least a little vexed.

so as a consequence all my OT will now show up on the next pay period which means that check better huge or I am going to recite some David Chapelle to the Payroll Department.

I see that I have a couple new amigos besides the ones I linked.

Welcome to the first step in your intensive life changing 12000 step program.

think of all the money you will save.

I am trying to make my forearms resemble Popeyes forearms.

I can think of only one exercise.......

What's up with everyone's obsession with having an email address with their
first dot last name?

Frankly I always try to make mine a super cool and fictitious name that will amuse someone when I hand out my cards at parties.

Here is a list I have contemplated in the past.

Ex. Supergayassbandit@JesusofLatterdaysaints.com
-Supergaywaterbuffalo@Vatican.com
-MagnamoniousWhalePenis@Republicansforbush.com
-TheFisticator@hotmail.com

and then of course theres my attempt to steal the names of stars or op culture icons for myself.

LindseyLohan@gougingeye.com
VinPenis@gmail.com
Marthastewart@marthastewart.com

and the list goes on and on..

Sabrina

when I called you back, I wasn't thinking of what had happened to you nor the gravity of the situation.

I apologize.

I want to write the perfect song,
and play it just for you,
while you are tangled in sleep.
I need you more than i'll ever know.
until I stop breathing,
my lungs will take you for granted. -thrice


once you designate a song in your head for someone
it will be with you always.

I really wish my Ra CD was not broken.
I have been forced to listen to mp3's off the net and this means that the little man in my computer is telling another little man that I am doing something that I am not supposed to....Ha! Take that you bastard slayer of Kenny!:P

The other day I asked my co-worker if he felt his age.
he said no,(he is 27 but looks 19) because no one treats him his age or gives him the respect that a 27 year old should have.

where am I going with this?
well mainly that who is to say what I am supposed to feel at 24?
(please note that Queens "I want to live forever"{ is playing in my head)

I feel great(minus the plague), I am living on my own, I have a new(er) set of friends that are amazing. Ex They know that my two bedroom apartment is unfurnished save for my bed. So the other day while at IKEA my friends Bob and Reese bought me silverware and now I have furniture that is being given to me from two other female friends(one who is going though a divorce) and also a full dining plate set.
I am like a brand new person, the only person I get to blame on from here on out is myself.

now that is 1337.

I postulate that you start to feel your age when you no longer spend so much time introspectively and more time simply documenting your life...

In other world news I have a place to stay in London and different parts of Sweden, Germany and France if I wish to vist!!
what does that mean?!!
Overtime, Overtime!!!

haha My ass is working so much these days I can't even begin to explain.

"Shotgun golf with Bill Murray"


The death of professional hockey in AMERICA is a nasty omen for people with heavy investments in NHL teams. But to me, it meant little or nothing -- and that's why I called Bill Murray with an idea that would change both our lives forever.

It was 3:30 on a dark Tuesday morning when I heard the phone ring on his personal line in New Jersey. "Good thinking," I said to myself as I fired up a thin Cohiba. "He's bound to be wide awake and crackling at this time of day, or at least I can leave a very excited message."

My eerie hunch was right. The crazy bugger picked up on the fourth ring, and I felt my heart racing. "Hot damn!" I thought. "This is how empires are built." Late? I know not late.

Genius round the world stands hand in hand, and one shock of recognition runs the whole circle round.

Herman Melville said that in the winter of 1914, and Murray is keenly aware of it. Only a madman would call a legend of Bill Murray's stature at 3:33 a.m. for no good reason at all. It would be a career-ending move, and also profoundly rude.

But my reason was better than good ...

* * * * *


BILL: "Hello?"

HST: "Hi, Bill, it's Hunter."

BILL: "Hi, Hunter."

HST: "Are you ready for a powerful idea? I want to ask you about golf in Japan. I understand they're building vertical driving ranges on top of each other."

BILL (sounding strangely alert): "Yes, they have them outdoors, under roofs ..."

HST: "I've seen pictures. I thought they looked like bowling alleys stacked on top of each other."

BILL: (Laughs.)

HST: "I'm working on a profoundly goofy story here. It's wonderful. I've invented a new sport. It's called Shotgun Golf. We will rule the world with this thing."


BILL: "Mmhmm."

HST: "I've called you for some consulting advice on how to launch it. We've actually already launched it. Last spring, the Sheriff and I played a game outside in the yard here. He had my Ping Beryllium 9-iron, and I had his shotgun, and about 100 yards away, we had a linoleum green and a flag set up. He was pitching toward the green. And I was standing about 10 feet away from him, with the alley-sweeper. And my objective was to blow his ball off course, like a clay pigeon."

BILL: (Laughs.)

HST: "It didn't work at first. The birdshot I was using was too small. But double-aught buck finally worked for sure. And it was fun."

BILL: (Chuckles.)

HST: "OK, I didn't want to wake you up, but I knew you'd want to be in on the ground floor of this thing."

BILL: (Silence.)

HST: "Do you want to discuss this tomorrow?"

BILL: "Sure."

HST: "Excellent."

BILL: "I think I might have a queer dream about it now, but ..." (Laughs.)

HST: "This sport has a HUGE future. Golf in America will soon come to this."

BILL: "It will bring a whole new meaning to the words 'Driving Range'."

HST: "Especially when you stack them on top of each other. I've seen it in Japan."

BILL: "They definitely have multi-level driving ranges. Yes."

HST: (Laughs.) "How does that work? Do they have extremely high ceilings?"

BILL: "No. The roof above your tee only projects out about 10 feet, and they have another range right above you. It's like they took the façade off a building. People would be hanging out of their offices."

HST: "I see. It's like one of those original Hyatt Regency Hotels. Like an atrium. In the middle of the building you could jump straight down into the lobby?"

BILL: "Exactly like that!"

HST: "It's like people driving balls from one balcony to the next."

BILL: (Laughs.) "Yes, they could."

HST: "I could be on the eighth floor and you on the sixth? Or on the fifteenth. And we'd be driving across a lake."

BILL: "They have flags out every 150 yards, every 200 yards, every 250 yards. It's just whether you are hitting it at ground level, or from five stories up."

HST: "I want to find out more about this. This definitely has a future to it."

BILL: "They have one here in the city -- down at Chelsea Pier."

HST: "You must have played a lot of golf in Japan."

BILL: "Not much; I just had one really great day of golf. I worked most of the time. But I did play one beautiful golf course. They have seasonal greens, two different types of grass. It's really beautiful."

HST: "Well, I'm writing a column for ESPN.com and I want to know if you like my new golf idea. A two-man team."

BILL: "Well, with all safety in mind, yes. Two-man team? Yeah! That sounds great. I think it would create a whole new look. It would create a whole new clothing line."

HST: "Absolutely. You'll need a whole new wardrobe for this game."

BILL: "Shooting glasses and everything."

HST: "We'll obviously have to make a movie. This will mushroom or mutate -- either way -- into a real craze. And given the mood of this country, being that a lot of people in the mood to play golf are also in the mood to shoot something, I think it would take off like a gigantic fad."

BILL: "I think the two-man team idea would be wonderful competition and is something the Ryder Cup would pick up on."

HST: "I was talking with the Sheriff about it earlier. But in one-man competition, I'd have to compete against you, say, in both of the arts -- the shooting AND the golfing. But if you do the Ryder Cup, you'd have to have the clothing line first. I'm going to write about this for ESPN tonight. I'm naming you and the Sheriff as the founding consultants."

BILL: "Sounds good."

HST: "OK, I'll call you tomorrow. And by the way, I'll see if I can twist some arms and get you an Oscar. But I want a Nobel Prize in return."

BILL: "Well, we can work together on this. This is definitely a team challenge." (Laughing.)

HST: "OK. We'll talk tomorrow."

BILL: "Good night."

So there it is. Shotgun Golf will soon take America by storm. I see it as the first truly violent leisure sport. Millions will crave it.

* * * * *


Shotgun Golf was invented in the ominous summer of 2004 AD, right here at the Owl Farm in Woody Creek, Colo. The first game was played between me and Sheriff Bob Braudis, on the ancient Bomb & Shooting Range of the Woody Creek Rod & Gun Club. It was witnessed by many members and other invited guests, and filmed for historical purposes by Dr. Thompson on Super-Beta videotape.

The game consists of one golfer, one shooter and a field judge. The purpose of the game is to shoot your opponent's high-flying golf ball out of the air with a finely-tuned 12-gauge shotgun, thus preventing him (your opponent) from lofting a 9-iron approach shot onto a distant "green" and making a "hole in one." Points are scored by blasting your opponent's shiny new Titleist out of the air and causing his shot to fail miserably. That earns you two points.

But if you miss and your enemy holes out, he (or she) wins two points when his ball hits and stays on the green.

And after that, you trade places and equipment, and move on to round 2.

My patent is pending, and the train is leaving the station, and Murray is a Founding Consultant, along with the Sheriff, and Keith Richards, etc., etc. Invest now or forever hold your peace.

* * * * *


As for Bill's triumphant finish at Pebble Beach, I am almost insanely proud of him. He is an elegant athlete in the finest Murray tradition. Bill is a dangerous brute with the fastest reflexes in Hollywood, but he is suave, and that is why I trust him even more than I trust all his brothers. Yes, I say Hallelujah, praise Jesus. Where is Brian? I will need him for this golf project, if only to offset Bill's bitchiness. We will march on a road of bones.

OK. Back to business. It was Bill Murray who taught me how to mortify your opponents in any sporting contest, honest or otherwise. He taught me my humiliating PGA fadeaway shot, which has earned me a lot of money ... after that, I taught him how to swim, and then I introduced him to the shooting arts, and now he wins everything he touches. Welcome to the future of America. Welcome to Shotgun Golf.

So long and Mahalo.

Hunter.

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson was born and raised in Louisville, Ky. His books include "Hell's Angels," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72," "The Great Shark Hunt," "The Curse of Lono," "Generation of Swine," "Songs of the Doomed," "Screwjack," "Better Than Sex," "The Proud Highway," "The Rum Diary," and "Fear and Loathing in America." His latest book, "Kingdom of Fear," has just been released.

This is FUNNY AS SHIT !!

President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American
Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on
his future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard
of living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had
signed "YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk
for approval.

Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed
most
enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers." At
the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a
plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle.

The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the
crowds. A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how
they came to select the new name given to the President. They explained
that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it
can no longer fly.

this is dedicated to that post that was lost at the cyber cafe that I thought had posted but never saw the light of day!
argh!!

I will bid farewell, sever the ties- KSE

I left work early todaty for an impromptu jam session with my best friend , el gringo harry or as he prefers to be called since he has been married "Aaron".

I returned 4 hours laters.

mainly because even though I am itching to read the last chapters of a Constantine graphic novel.I know that it is going to be waiting for me when I get there.

The money I would lose from not "working" or sleeping at work is to much.
Plus I left my food here and I was hungry and I didnt want to go somewhere and spend money.

Im sure you have heard the news
RIP HuNTER!

and by that I mean eat a dick you pussy!

I woke up 17 minutes before work.
I made it to work with 6 minutes to spare.

half an hour into my shift I decided It would be a good Idea to fast.

2 minutes later...

co worker: "Hey, we are going to Mcdonalds, do you want anything?"
(note that I hate MCD's)

Me: "Sure, why not? give me two double cheeseburgers, no onions."

oh sweet tempation you are a cruel misstress who plays upoin my fickle nature.

so there has been one boxed set that has been over looked completely
and I think the world should be put on blast.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

please note:

I am still down with the sickness oooo ah ah ah

I am still wearing the same clothes as I left from work with yesterday.(and shoes)

I did not sleep in my bed which meant that this morning my middle to upper back did not feel like it was a different part of me that needed to be warmed up in my shower.

I slept in my friend missys bed and as she slept next to me I thought damn its been a while....

I had vegan and vegeterian lasagna.

yummy!

oh and so all last week I was thinking of what I had to pay that I couldnt remember....well guess what last night I remembered it at the dinner party I was attending...my freaking court payment!!!!

shit that means I have to show up early tomorrow to work or else for the life of me I am screwed like a virgin on prom night.

also I found out that tickets to Ireland are $600 instead of $330
which means I most def have to work much more to get my culo out there in august.
Why Ireland you ask?
Well you see the mulk became amigos with someone who works in the hotel industry out there and is able to hook me up If I come out. and by hook up I mean Free.

Well shit!! wouldnt you?
I am !!!

I am solid

I got some sexing in my bed...

I am sick with the plague

I want to work all night and day and not party anymore...

I am not a robot

I need to read john stewarts new book

okay so why is it that two years later V-day bothers me
when last year it didn't.


well I know why and it frustrates me to no end.
A smarter girl Sabrina would tell me something along the lines of So, shit happens Which is pretty mnch what I would say.

to bad she doesnt live in Az to give me a swift kick in the ass but really women like her are far and few inbetween.

trust me I have searched.

so in retrospect
fuck me for being a douche bag

p.s. please not that I am the happiest mother fucker in the plant living by myself.
but note that I still have not had sex in my bed and that needs to stop.

My comments are way better than my posts usually..
maybe I should be the first person to blog juts their comments to posts.

.......eye blink....eye blink..

see what I mean?

le sigh

when striking up causal conversations about fisting
make sure the other person isn't drinking anything.


words to 1i\/3 4.

I didn't pay for a damn drink last night
not a damn one.!!weeee

Also my chance to get revenge on Elton is close at hand.

he is coming to phoenix on his "peachtree" tour on May 5th.

Freddys murderer shall be brought to justice!

honey nut cheerios are the ambrosia of the gods.

I am legally blind.

When I wear glasses, I am a modern day Cyclops and no I ain't talking about the one eyed monster in my pantaloons.

To protect my fellow wo-man I choose to wear contact lenses which smother my cornea, iris, and retina.

Consequently my retina doesn't channel the life bestowing power of the sun and focus them into deadly "death lasers"(which is what happens when I wear my coke bottle glasses) which not only cut through all objects known to modern man but also put the "grill" into grilled cheese sandwhiches from over 20 paces.

As I'm sure you are aware when one senses is subject to atrophy another sense heightens, usually for me the default is taste or touch, but today I was cursed with smell.

I am smelling myself at a level that I am not accustomed to.
blah why do I smell so damn delicious!

thank god
ooo I just got in trouble for sending another tech an email.

Today many(mucho) woman woke up across the nation after trying anal sex for the first time last night.

some of them loved the experience and were enraptured by it.

some of them did not.

can I get a woah Bundy?!

Go St. V!

I am not really here, I am simply projecting my energy into this place and time.

P.s Oh and many(mucho) men as well.

and just like that she was gone....

Events that have happened in the last month of that make my life super sweet like cancer giving saccharine.

I have not gotten sexing in the last month .... Yet...I have not gotten sexing in the last month but the magic Eightball said Yes! and we all know he doesn't lie...Ever..At least he's never told me anything that has killed me..

I have once again needed to turn to outside financial institutions to keep my big ass bobble head bobbling along in the great ocean that is mi Vida.

Thank you my favorite sister in the whole wide world

Jesus note: My love for exquisite and pungent dishes has constantly been a determining factor as to why I had mot moved out before. At the time of this writing I have loss oh say about 10 pounds since I moved out, so that's roughly about 2 pounds a week, This would be cool if you know I was trying to slim down but right now I feel like someone enrolled in the Mexican Jesus look alike program for people who want to start their own cult and that just ain't right.

I started speaking Spanish to god..Again.

I have been working the bookoo O>T> at work all night and every day.

I started growing a beard in retaliation of Gilletes price increase in south Dakota.

Realized that wo-man! I should have moved out years ago!!

Took many, many showers that resulted in my smelling delicious like pancakes..

Lent my Amiga twenty dollars for rent.

Remembered that I had to pay my court fees this month and forgot.

I spent way to much time on myspace.com

I found out that dirty_little_homo's photo/make up shoot has been cancelled so he wont be coming out to Arixona.

and so much more which I will write some other day.

20 things that are better than the SEXing
Current mood: lying liar pants on fireeeee!!! yea! thanks oozie

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point Hair
Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise
Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask
If They Want Fries with
That.

4. Put Your Rubbish Can On Your Desk And Label It
"In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once
Everyone Has Gotten Over
Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance
With The Prophecy."

8. dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Gender They Are. Laugh
Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To
Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems
Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
Play Tropical Sounds All
Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You
Can't Attend Their Party
Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your
Wrestling Name.

17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I
Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking Lot, Yelling
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The
Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of
Insanity.......

20. Send This To Someone To Make Them
Smile...It's Called Therapy..

only you can prevent the undead from coming back

So I found this article from one of my favorite new sites

If you dont know who this man is then you dont know nothing!

A Do Not answer list for Tech Support- worth a hundred times its weight in platinum.

no no a thousand

today at work I made 3 signs

one says you can do it and has a picture of a little tech guy smiling
and another says 1337 need not apply in Leet.

the 3rd one says "LOCALS ONLY"

Amen!!

this is hour 10 of my shift
help me....